BFF's

The little guy always tells me, "Mommy, you are my best friend."  That is the best feeling in the world. When sissy's oldest was a tad younger, she once told me that we could be best friends.  And the front of the wedding invitation that I sent out more than ten years ago said, "Today I marry my best friend..."

When I was in the 5th grade, I met a girl that would indeed become my "BFF" growing up.  In fact, we did everything together until the day that I lost her and her daughter in 2007.  That was hard time for me.  But as I fast forward to today, I have some realizations about friends that I think I would only know through the experiences that I've had over the last few years. 

Big lesson learned:  Some friends come and go.  Some become the causal coffee date twice a year, some become Facebook friends (my knowledge of them is limited to what I see on FB), some become situational  (my football season friends, my jiu jitsu friends, my workout friends, the neighborhood friends) and some kind of just disappear. 

Then there are the ones that simply pick up where we left off, regardless of time.  I love those friends.  

Of course, there are the friends that are there whenever you need them.  One phone call, one text message, one reach and they appear.  In fact, I know they are true friends because I don't need to reach out; they are simply there for me. 

 There are also the "friends" that betray because they have ulterior motives and selfish intentions.   Although that is a tough and painful situation, it shouldn't be hard to let go because things like trust and honesty are replaced with manipulation, deception, and ill intent.  Even as an adult, it is sometimes hard to figure out which friends you can trust and which ones simply do not have your best interests at heart. I tell my students all the time that "it gets better after middle and high school," but I don't know if that's true.  Friendships, relationships are complicated things.  Even as adults, we need to be careful and cognitive of the choices we make.  By indulging in selfish and self serving choices, we could be harming someone else in a painful, drastic and permanent way.  Without details, I'll say that through painful experiences comes epiphany.  It was hard to bury my BFF and her daughter, but through that pain, I learned a valuable lesson:we must cherish the relationships we are given.  Keep them close to our hearts and don't jeopardize trust and honesty for selfish purposes.  It isn't worth it to gamble no matter how much we justify it in our minds, apologize later, or engage in acts of service to try to counter the selfishness.  

I'm thankful for the lessons I'm learning regarding relationships.  

I'll end by telling you about one friend that has always been loyal, faithful, honest, and serving.  His name is Tony.  Tony has always had my best interests at heart.  He has always had my back.  He always has time to spend with me and I know that when we are together, he values that time.  In fact, he makes me feel like I am the highlight in his day.  It feels good to be able to talk candidly about things and know that Tony is listening and will not violate my trust by retelling the story to someone else.  Heck, he'll even keep my feet warm in the winter.  Gotta love that.

Yup, he's a mutt.  But he's the real thing.