Apparently, it's illegal

Mentos + Soda + a beautiful spring day = EPIC explosions!

Love making memories with the boys.

A little Rough...

Scrum, Try, Hooker.

I'm learning and I'm loving it.  This week's battle was at Potter Middle School in beautiful Fallbrook.  Since it was football registration day too (Already!), I got a chance to put my rugby skills to the test and try to "explain" what was happening.

Turns out that between the Rugby 101 class, all the practices, all the games ,and all the talk in the car, I've learned quite a bit about this sport.

The one thing that I've learned the most is that my son is a passionate, hard working person.  He runs hard, hits harder, and laughs hardest while making friends and staying active.  Love that guy :-)

A letter to myself half a lifetime ago

Dear Me,

In 20 years from now, those people that you've been picking over your family will not matter the way you think they matter now.  You think that your friends are the most important people in the world, and you are wrong.  In fact, that same group of friends will become distant acquaintances  that you only know through social media or the yearly Christmas card.  It won't be a bad thing; in fact it will be a wonderful memory full of lessons and good thoughts.  After college, most will disappear and you will be forced to reevaluate what is important in your life.  There are a few friends that will stay; there will be some pretty harsh lessons you'll learn from the ones that don't.  In the end, you'll be stronger because of the crap that others put you through.  It's called resiliency.  You'll learn all about it soon.

You should save your money.  One day, there will be three people that you will meet that will change your life and rock your world.  They need you to start being a little more responsible with your resources, including all that cash you are spending on pizza and beer with friends.  Not to say that you will change that much, I mean, that cute top at the mall will still tug at your heart strings.  But, you'll realize that 6th grade camp is a much better use of resources than a dress that will end up being donated to AmVets after a few short weeks.

You'll have people come and go over the years.  Your sister will always be there.  She will drive you crazy sometimes.  She will be honest about everything.   She'll bite her tongue once in a while to spare you.  She will have your back.  She and NoNeck will gift you the four most beautiful and precious people.  And your heart will learn to love even more.

You will learn what evil looks like and you'll have to rely on your faith in God  to get you through all the heartache.  I promise this:  listen to your heart.  It will speak softly and honesty.  It will be easy to ignore because there will be lots of devils whispering the things you want to hear.  But your heart will know the truth.

God will grant you angels. It will hurt to get them and  a lot of that pain will never fully go away.  But you will learn that  your angels will stay with you through thick and thin.  They too will whisper the truths you need to hear.  They will provide a safe and calm place to retreat when the world becomes too much to handle.  Make sure to quiet yourself so you can hear them.  If you stop long enough to bite your tongue and open your ears, you can achieve the clarity that you will lack for so many years.

You will have true friends.  They will make you laugh.  You'll find them so don't worry about letting the ones you have go.  There is something wonderful and liberating when you have a group of friends that don't come attached with drama.  Your circle of trusted friends will get smaller and smaller until one day you realize that there are really only a few special people that have your best interests at heart. They are the people that guide on a path to love.  It will be damn hard, but you must let go of a little bit of anger so you can open yourself to trusting again.  The benefits from trusting a small group of true friends will be more than enough to raise you up from any dark place.

Education is your job now and it will continue to play a huge part in the woman you are on your way to becoming.  Stop blowing off classes for parties and friends.  Start reading the books for the purpose of learning, not just so you can increase the likelihood that you'll guess right answer on the multiple choice test at the end of the month.  This small sliver of your reality depends so much on how you treat school and how you make decisions when it comes to education.

Try a lot of different things.  I know you (because I am you) and I am certain that you are just a little bit of a chicken when it comes to getting out of your safe circle.  Take a leap of blind faith, get on an airplane, and go see the world.  You will still be able to do it later (and you will, trust me)  but it is easier to travel alone when there are no other people that are depending on you.

By the way, you have it wrong when you say that school is "so hard!" and that you are "so tired!" from studying and working and balancing friends.  You have NO.REAL.IDEA.  But you will.  Your epiphany will hit you one silent, lonely night in July when you have not showered in 3 days, your shirt is crusty from dried breast milk, and a 10 pound butter ball turkey shaped baby is screaming bloody murder because... well, heck, you can just dance and sing, and rock, and cry along and I'm sure he will *eventually* tell you what he needs or just fall asleep again too.  He won't care that you have a master's class at 7 :00 am and your husband is working graveyards.  That turkey just wants to babble and play and talk and eat and cry and snuggle and stare and spit... without a care in the world that it is 3:00 a.m.

Your family will become your entire life.  Hold the kids tightly, especially when they are little.  They will grow up too fast and so will you.  Kiss them every night and tell them you love them everyday.  While you're at it, tell all the people that support you (true support) that you love them.  Put your pager or cell phone or whatever down,  look at the people that you hold close.  Look them in the eyes and talk story till you're both crying or both laughing.

You're going to be fine.  Even when you don't have money to pay utilities.  Even when you move out and realize that you can't even fry an egg or make a pot of rice.  It will hurt the first time that your heart is broken, but you will heal.  I promise.   I know.  Just stay true to the morals and ethics you have already begun to establish.  Cheating, lying, deceiving... it isn't who you are now and you will not turn into those things either.

The two things I'd love for you to take away from this are:

1) Take time to listen and talk less.  You will find truth and peace through following the path in your heart.  But you can't hear the path if you're too busy talking about frivolous things.

2) You are going to be given a beautiful family.  They will become the center of your universe.  Don't make choices that will affect your family in a negative way.  Yes, there will be mistakes made, but the key to minimizing those circumstances is to always, always, always, always keep FAMILY at the forefront of thoughts and actions.

You'll be fine, kid.   I'm the proof.

ME

An after thought-
In writing this, I realize that it isn't too late for me (or you, or whatever... you get it) to start living again.  So the goal for me is to be able to look back at this letter in another 20 years and know that I took my own advice.  I'll start here.  I'll bite my tongue, or rather pierce it.  It will remind me to speak less and  open my heart. Then,  I will listen to what Ria wants to tell me.

Nothing says love like a handmade gift.  Twice so far this month, I've been to Clay and Latte in Carmel Mountain Ranch.  The first time with to use a Groupon that I picked up.  It sounded like such a good idea in my head!  I thought that I would take the boys and we would have a grand time painting and laughing.  Instead, I encountered a little guy who - after a 15 minute picture of daddy - was D.O.N.E.  I spent the next hour trying to get him to paint a little more, stop picking up the ceramic pieces on the shelves, and sit in his seat to finish his plate.  I felt like I was trying to herd kittens.

The second trip was for the TWINKIE's 5th birthday.  I took four big boys with me (because that's how I do stuff) and they all painted a picture as Valentine's Day gifts.  The twist is that they each painted a gift for another's mom.  Lil Shawn made a Hello Kitten one for Ms. Grace, Gray made one for Ms. Sina, and I got a Bbbbbbeautiful blue and gold camera platter from my dear Stephen.  My favorite part of the session was when lil Shawn said, " Put the word LIFETIME on it.  My mom loves LIFETIME!"  So Sina ended up with a handmade platter that had a spam musubi on the front and the word LIFETIME with a heart on the back.  Gotta love these boys.

"This is DADDY."
Yup, looks exactly like him!

Next time I go, I'll remember a few things:

1) Let the little guy paint whatever he wants to paint.  It isn't worth the fight to argue that a platter is more useful than a ceramic sheep.

2) Ban the color black.  It ends up everywhere.

3) Ask the kids what they are going to write on the plates first.  Otherwise you end up with things like "Boom!", "Like A Boss", "Beast", and the Pepsi symbol.  (I may NOT follow this rule... it did make me laugh!)

4) Make sure to take pictures of all the finish products.  The plates will one day break or disappear, but the happy memories will last a lifetime.

5) Lastly... and most importantly... try to stop and enjoy the chaos.  It's an art project, not the building on the Titanic.  If they have fun and laugh and enjoy, it's worth the trip.

Hobbies and Honeys

In 2013, I WILL try new things.

Step one: Gather my honeys for my Beauty's birthday and get my whine and wine on.

The surprising part is that there was no WINE and no WHINE involved.  But there WAS Apple Sake  and sushi and lots (and lots and lots and lots) of laughing.  Hanging with true friends is like food for the soul.  

After dinner, we were off on our adventure of trying to connect with our artistic sides.  What started as blank white canvases turned into beautiful masterpieces of artistic ability and pure raw talent.  Ok, not really.  But it seems that we can all follow directions and paint by number.  It also seems that we are THOSE girls... the ones that keep talking and talking and talking.

Sitting right in the front row, we rocked it as the model students.  Here are the finished products.  I'm sure you will agree that these pieces should be displayed in an art gallery or part of the Little Italy Gallery Walk.  Alas, they aren't for sale.  There's no price tag on a product of perfection :) 

I'll only like it if it's blue and gold.
And, NO ... that's a lighthouse not...

Touchdown Time!

Luke 2:40 

And the Child continued to grow and become strong, increasing in wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.

They say it takes a village to raise a child.  Ain't that the truth!

Although the hamster wheel seems to spin faster and faster everyday, events like this remind me to slow down and remember that - despite all the bad - there is so, so much good and right about this world.  Teba - You are a strong and beautiful person.  Congratulations on Baby M.  Let's get together for some fun to celebrate life, love, and all the "little" things in life. 

TOUCHTOWN TIME Friends!

Learn something new

New Year, New Sport.

Rugby is a little hard to get use to for me.  I mean, I don't know any moms that like to watch their sons get tackled, hit, and chased.  I must say that football was hard enough; now I have to hold my breath as I watch two 20 minutes halves of my guy running up and down that field hitting his friends.

BTW, he loves it.

I think that the part he likes is that he gets to carry the ball.  In fact, at the very first game of the season, he was the kid that scored the first try.  (I learned at the Rugby 101 class that a TRY is like a TOUCHDOWN... but five points instead of 6)   I also learned that rugby is, " A hooligans sport played by gentlemen."  Yup, they get pretty down and dirty on that field.

Coach says that there is a tradition that after scoring your first try, you're suppose to pour a drink in your shoe and drink from it.  I can say that he did NOT practice that tradition.  However, here is one that he does practices.

Behind the ear?   Gggggggross.  I bet it tastes like a combo of sweat and Axe spray when he puts it in his mouth.  Just sayin'...

HNY! TwentyThirteen has arrived.

When sis and I were little, we used to go to our aunt's house on New Years and play games and run around while the "grown up's" engaged in all out, no mercy games of tile.  Back to back, relentless, until new year's would literally come and go, and the ticking of the tiles would continue until the dawn.

When the moms and dads and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas took a break, the children would (try to) build castles, fortresses and roads with the tiles.  Shot down quickly, it was explained with great clarity that majong is not a game for kids.  The majong tiles are NOT toys.  The kids would listen a second, then run off to find something else to get into.  It was fun.  And easy.  And we never felt the need to sit and watch to learn the game that only adults were invited to play anyway.

The year 2013:  The "kids" have grown up, moved out, started families, paid mortgages, learned a bunch of new things and are now teaching their own kids about life.  It is really different , the world we live in now.  Gray says that he wishes he was in middle school when we were because he wants the option to "buy french fries and other good unhealthy food"  The big one says that it would be so hard to , "do school without the internet."  I went ahead and aged myself by stating (truthfully) that I didn't get my first computer until my first year in college.  After a moment of thought, the next question from that kid was,"Were you too poor to buy one?" Yup.  We for sure live in a different world.

But I'd like to think that some things stay the same.

For one: FAMILY.  Loud, messy,giving, obnoxious, sneaky, thoughtful , selfish/ selfless.  All the bad and all the good... it is what we are gifted with while we are here.  Everyone's tiles are different and there are a lot of different ways to play.  Some tiles need strategy to discard, while others are obviously not going to fit unless quite a bit changes first.  There are some sets that are established at the beginning and there is never a second thought of breaking the set apart.  Other sets get challenged when a different tile appears. Perhaps a tile that looks like it *might* make the whole set better.

Wait?  What are we talking about?

Never the less, life has changed.  The world is much smaller and much bigger than what it once was.  So everyone learns along the way and tries their best to stay focused and take care of the ones around them.

I have never taught my boys how to play majong.  They never watch because they are too busy running around with cousins.  I myself never got the official "tutorial" on this Asian Sport of Champions.  But I get the concept of discarding what's not needed and keeping the good sets in tact.  That's all I need to win.

We played majong on Christmas (it must be in the blood)  and will soon play sometime into the new year.  I'm hoping on seven pairs before the 6th.  And I'll only get rid of the ones that don't fit into the whole picture.

After all,  I might not know much about the challenges that my boys face as they grow up, but I do know what the winning picture looks like.  And that picture is perfect because all the pieces you don't need had been discarded.  

Duct out

A new addictive fade. The Val gals and I got down and sticky with some pretty creative new accessories.

Who needs new stuff when you can have someone make it for you... With love

Add the "easy" baking and I can chalk it up as a win.

Pin Me.

For what seems like years, friends have been talking about PINTREST.  But, since deactivating my facebook account (best decision ever, by the way) I really haven't been caught up in the hype.  After all... if you're not pinning, you're not posting, you're not tweeting and you're trying to basically fall of the radar, PINTREST is just another social media something- something.

It is not an obsession and will not overwhelm my life in any way. I've got three little boys to do all that.  However, it sure is great to look at shoes and dream a little.

PINTREST is my new happy place, at least for now.  The shoes and cleaning tips alone are an amazing escape when life feels like a hamster wheel.  I promise it won't bind me though!

Hit the reset button

Sometimes we just need a change in the scenery to change the mood, the energy.

They say that putting together a house is easy, but building a home is a little harder.  Not for me.   All I need are some window coverings, a colorful area rug, and some good old fashion love.  With that, I'll make this house a home.    The rest take care of itself, right?

Sons

I don't deserve the kids I have.  They are the fabulous and bring so much joy to me and everyone else around them.  They are messy and forgetful.  They (sometimes) miss assignments and leave dishes all over the house.  But they are kind and helpful.  They are respectful and they listen...sometimes the first time I ask.

I'm so blessed to be their mother.

Lord, thank you for all of the blessings in my life.  Amid the chaos and worries in life, I am reminded that you love me through the children you've given me.

Storm...

Loving the lyrics.  

Bad weather...bring it on.

Thank you Lord for the blessings.  My heart belongs to you.

Stolen.

These boys have stolen my heart.  What a great group of kids that my son is surrounded by!  I hear then laugh, play, joke, and argue (Mindcraft on X Box) and it just makes me happy that he has such great friends.

I met my best friend when I was about my son's age.  What started as a "little childhood friend"  developed into a life long friendship that I still very much cherish to this day.  That is my wish for the boys: Lifelong, lasting friendships.  There are a lot of bad things in this world, but when you're lucky enough to find real friends, hold them close and cherish them.  It is just so rare in this life...

Thank you Lord for the wonderful friends you have surround my children with.

I'm looking forward to watching this little bunch grow up to be a big bunch :)

Saturdays...

I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturdays :)   Week two, win two.  It's so much fun to cheer for a championship team.

V.I.P. in July

Donarie, SYTYCD, Wicked.

Growing up, I watched boxing because my dad was totally into it.  I don't remember much; I don't remember having a favorite.  But I did learn a lot about the sport.  So sitting in the second row of the Donarie fight this summer was a simple treat.  The day trip to Los Angeles in Irish's  G- ride and dinner for Scone's #1 was a perfect way to spend QT with good peeps.  We even got to watch Kelly Pavlik woop on some guy with a loud girlfriend, which made it that much more memorable.  A second row seat, with no one in front of us = some great seats for a great fight.  Good times with good friends.  Mrs. MM sure is a hottie... although she was over dressed for the occasion .  (Ha, so was I.  Note to self:  Jeans are appropriate for the next fight we attend.)

The same week as the fight, Sissy, Lei Bear and I went to LA (again) to visit Trashley.  She has worked on So You Think You Can Dance since the first season.  She went from Mother Hen to producer and now has her own cutie pie office in the NBC studio.  Each season, Sis and I make the trip to West Hollywood to hit up the Grove and (not) stand in a long line for a seat at a live taping.  Lady Gaga was the guest judge last year, we've seen Katie and Suri, Portia and Ellen, and have met all the dancers, judges, and choreographers.  We get a really cool VIP pass that we wear on our necks.  We go backstage and take pictures.  But the honest highlight is always driving up with Sis, hanging with Ash, and eating, shopping, and getting dolled up. The highlight this time around was watching Sis and Lei Bear go paparazzi on the cast of Dance Moms.

The night we watched Donaire fight, No Neck had purchased tickets to Wicked for Sissy's birthday.  A great surprise for her that I did NOT get to engage in.  No worries though because I was presented with two surprise tickets to the show the closing night in San Diego.  The seats were dead center.  The seats were in the orchestra section.  The seats were A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Needless to say, I feel like a VIP.

BFF's

The little guy always tells me, "Mommy, you are my best friend."  That is the best feeling in the world. When sissy's oldest was a tad younger, she once told me that we could be best friends.  And the front of the wedding invitation that I sent out more than ten years ago said, "Today I marry my best friend..."

When I was in the 5th grade, I met a girl that would indeed become my "BFF" growing up.  In fact, we did everything together until the day that I lost her and her daughter in 2007.  That was hard time for me.  But as I fast forward to today, I have some realizations about friends that I think I would only know through the experiences that I've had over the last few years. 

Big lesson learned:  Some friends come and go.  Some become the causal coffee date twice a year, some become Facebook friends (my knowledge of them is limited to what I see on FB), some become situational  (my football season friends, my jiu jitsu friends, my workout friends, the neighborhood friends) and some kind of just disappear. 

Then there are the ones that simply pick up where we left off, regardless of time.  I love those friends.  

Of course, there are the friends that are there whenever you need them.  One phone call, one text message, one reach and they appear.  In fact, I know they are true friends because I don't need to reach out; they are simply there for me. 

 There are also the "friends" that betray because they have ulterior motives and selfish intentions.   Although that is a tough and painful situation, it shouldn't be hard to let go because things like trust and honesty are replaced with manipulation, deception, and ill intent.  Even as an adult, it is sometimes hard to figure out which friends you can trust and which ones simply do not have your best interests at heart. I tell my students all the time that "it gets better after middle and high school," but I don't know if that's true.  Friendships, relationships are complicated things.  Even as adults, we need to be careful and cognitive of the choices we make.  By indulging in selfish and self serving choices, we could be harming someone else in a painful, drastic and permanent way.  Without details, I'll say that through painful experiences comes epiphany.  It was hard to bury my BFF and her daughter, but through that pain, I learned a valuable lesson:we must cherish the relationships we are given.  Keep them close to our hearts and don't jeopardize trust and honesty for selfish purposes.  It isn't worth it to gamble no matter how much we justify it in our minds, apologize later, or engage in acts of service to try to counter the selfishness.  

I'm thankful for the lessons I'm learning regarding relationships.  

I'll end by telling you about one friend that has always been loyal, faithful, honest, and serving.  His name is Tony.  Tony has always had my best interests at heart.  He has always had my back.  He always has time to spend with me and I know that when we are together, he values that time.  In fact, he makes me feel like I am the highlight in his day.  It feels good to be able to talk candidly about things and know that Tony is listening and will not violate my trust by retelling the story to someone else.  Heck, he'll even keep my feet warm in the winter.  Gotta love that.

Yup, he's a mutt.  But he's the real thing. 

Pandora

My new favorite station on Pandora is the Coldplay station.
Beautiful sounds throughout the house to lift the spirits and calm the nerves.  I'm working on not being anxious for anything for there are few things in life that we actually control.  The rest is fate.

For you: the one that needs a lifting of the spirit and calming of the nerves.  Here's some something beautiful from a lovely Oasis.

Zombies...

The new obsession in my house:  No Zombies.

We are all addicted to killing zombies, using the supplies (that come in forms of boxes when a zombie is shot) to stock the stores that are built, and generating money from the sale of supplies to make more businesses.  I know, I know.  But we are addicted.

It's funny that I wait and wait and wait for summer vacation to arrive, only to fill the "free time" with games that don't make any sense.  But it is fun competition in the home and we all like to laugh about how "stupid"it is (yet none of us can put it down)   I'm sure it won't last long, but how can I give up when there are still citizens that need my help?

Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming...

The Virginia Aquarium and Marine Science Center in Virginia Beach, VA.

My boys are water people.  I learned this very early when, at age three, my 11 year old got in the water without a floaty to "swim."  Of course, he hadn't had lessons yet, so he couldn't swim.  But he was fearless and soon learned on his own.  Since then, it's hard to keep the boys out of the water.  Little fish, I like to call them.  They also love sea life.  

We visited the aquarium on a recent visit to Virginia.  It's a hands on, interactive museum complete with an IMAX theatre and great examples of sea life.   All my boys enjoyed seeing the sharks, jelly fish, and turtles.  We watched a quick file on the life of a polar bear and I almost cried.  Love those furry killers.  

Watching Tanked and Fish Tank Kings has given me a better appreciation of what kind of care it takes to take care of a fish tank.  We've had a tank in our home for 14 years, but it hasn't been until recently that I have really come to appreciate the time, commitment, and passion it takes not to kill all the little Nemos. 

 Equipped with my fantastic plastic (aka the Nifty Fifty) , I was able to capture a few images.  Enjoy.